Attachment-Focused EMDR Therapy
Discover a sense of safety in relationships that you never knew was possible.
Attachment-Focused EMDR Therapy
The beauty of EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) Therapy is its effectiveness in rewiring and retraining your brain, creating and linking up new positive neural pathways (i.e. I am loved) that then replace negative outdated neural pathways (i.e. No one cares about me.). These old ways of thinking were often created and reinforced during your early life experiences and do not reflect the actual circumstances of your life today. Through EMDR Therapy, you’re able to clear these out so that your new default thoughts and perspective are more in line with the here and now, not the there and then.
Attachment-Focused EMDR works specifically to target the ways in which developmental injuries and ruptures in your relationships have negatively influenced the way you think about yourself, others, and the world in general. Attachment-Focused EMDR takes the best parts of standard EMDR and adds the lens of attachment theory (the theory that our adult relationships are heavily influenced by our earliest bonds as infants with our primary caregivers) to create an even more relational and nurturing approach to overcoming complex trauma.
Attachment-Focused EMDR might be for you if:
You identify as having an insecure attachment style, such as anxious/preoccupied, avoidant/dismissive, or disorganized (the combination of anxious and avoidant).
You experience major difficulties in relationships, often becoming consumed by the state of your current dating or romantic situation. Alternatively you may avoid intimate relationships altogether, for fear of being rejected once someone truly sees and gets to know you.
You have had challenges in your relationships with your parents or primary caregivers, and know for a fact that you want a different type of relationship for yourself as an adult.
Learn More About Attachment-Focused EMDR Therapy
(Information provided below is from Parnell, Laurel. Attachment-Focused EMDR: Healing Relational Trauma. W. W. Norton & Company, 2013.)
What is Attachment-Focused EMDR Therapy?
Attachment-Focused EMDR Therapy, or AF-EMDR, was created by Dr. Laurel Parnell in 2007 to heal early attachment wounds. Attachment-Focused EMDR Therapy uses a modified protocol and addresses the effects of neglect and abuse on the developing brain and how they manifest in adult attachment styles. Attachment-Focused EMDR Therapy is designed to heal relational trauma and is especially healing to those who have insecure attachment styles and relational trauma. The approach is client-centered and emphasizes the healing that can take place within the therapeutic relationship itself. What this means is that, especially if you haven’t had the experience of a healthy and secure attachment, you can use your relationship with me to practice being seen, heard, understood, and unconditionally accepted and valued as the perfectly imperfect human that you are. In fact one of the major benefits of therapy IMO, is that you can practice using interpersonal skills like setting limits, asking for something, or saying ‘no’, and build comfort and confidence in talking through any potential misunderstandings or misattunements that occur in session. This may sound scary on the surface, and that’s okay too. You are encouraged and welcome to voice any hesitations or anxieties at any point in time so that we can talk through them together.
How is Attachment-Focused EMDR Therapy different from EMDR Therapy?
Attachment-Focused EMDR Therapy places more emphasis on resourcing clients so that you can build out your coping skills and toolkit in completely new ways. Before any actual EMDR trauma processing, you will engage in Resource Tapping so that 1) you can get a feel for BLS (bilateral stimulation), 2) we can see what resources are needed for your future EMDR trauma processing sessions and/or within your everyday life outside of session, and 3) we can start to build rapport in session so that you’re comfortable with me as your trauma therapist.
What is Resource Tapping?
Resource Tapping or resource installation is a way that we strengthen and integrate your preexisting internal resources by pairing imagined positive resources with BLS (bilateral stimulation). Resource Tapping can be done as a standalone treatment to help you connect with and further develop your existing inherent strengths and resources, and it can used as a step of preparation for future EMDR trauma processing.
There are limitless ways that Resource Tapping can be incorporated into your treatment; some examples are tapping in an Internal Spiritual Advisor that you can check in with when you need intuitive guidance or perspective; another examples is tapping in the quality of confidence, so that you feel more comfortable and at ease in work or social situations. Both the Internal Spiritual Advisor and quality of confidence could be beneficial as standalone resources, and could also be incorporated into actual EMDR processing sessions. This and more will be discussed when we meet; if it sounds confusing please know that questions are always welcome, and there is no such thing as a stupid question!
What is Attachment-Focused EMDR Therapy used to treat?
Attachment-Focused EMDR Therapy treats relational trauma, or trauma that occurs in the context of a relationship—either something that happened or did not happen (e.g., neglect) to you that has caused you harm. This trauma could stem from the treatment of a mother, father, siblings, other relatives, caretakers, or other significant relationships. Types of trauma may include:
physical, sexual, or emotional abuse
neglect, abandonment, lack of mirroring and attunement
unconscious absorption of parents’ traumas
early loss of a parent or caretaker or
parent’s mental or physical illness or drug and/or alcohol abuse.
Attachment-Focused EMDR Therapy can be used if you have experienced severe early attachment trauma, or if you just prefer a therapist that attends to your needs as a unique individual.
Attachment-Focused EMDR Therapy in Action
Watch Prince Harry talk EMDR and demonstrate the butterfly hug BLS technique